cpr

so that was february.  a month of bad judgments and doing shameful, shameful things to avoid being in my apartment where mice have moved in.  i’m not able to cook.  i’m lying constantly.  i’m allowing myself to be mistreated and also mistreating others.

and giving cpr to old flings is the most pointless thing anyone can do.

zoo york pt. 2

and where does the i-banker fall into all of this? sure, he does everything right… but why do i prefer the carpenter who does everything wrong? or worse, does nothing at all….?

zoo york

within the span of 5 days, i was asked out by both a garbage man and an ER doctor.

does a date cake a date make?

so i asked this guy that i’ve been running into if he wanted to hang out on saturday. and when i said hang out, i meant get a drink and shoot some pool. but once he suggested dinner, i knew i was in uncharted date waters. and then when he suggested we go to moto, i knew i was in big trouble. after all, moto is cursed, and i rarely go there because of bad memories. i was once broken up with there in ’06, and it wasn’t pretty. anyway, the night did turn out to be rather date-like, but i had a nice time (the moto curse is broken!). at the end of our meal, he insisted on dessert, and it was called the date cake. it was the best cake i ever had, but will i ever have another one?

i don’t dream about anyone…except myself

i lost the bodega challenge. there was a live judging (which was entertaining, unless you were one of the contestants), and i got lukewarm comments:

1. i would have liked it to be more spicy…
2. this could be good….if the ingredients hadn’t come from a bodega….
3. i like it….it would go well with turkey….

needless to say, i was rather disappointed, but I WAS SICK! okay, i’m not going to make any more excuses. i did, however, meet a boy at the challenge, and we are now in a hanging out situation, which really is the only way things turn out in williamsburg. whatever, i have a CHILI COOK-OFF to prepare for and a title to defend! i made my test-batch last night, and it was good, but i really can’t say how it will do. i brought it into work and obligated a few of my co-workers to critique it, and while a couple people liked it, only one person LOVED it. oh, i just can’t predict how it will all turn out. i can guarantee you that i will be throwing A FIT if i don’t place in the top 3 though.

new class added! cooking for ex-couples

mike and i broke up about 2 years ago. my friend recently asked me why, and i said, “you know, one day we started fighting, and we just couldn’t stop no matter how hard we tried.” it really made me sad to put it into words, aloud. i hadn’t thought about it in such a long time.  i still see mike sometimes. he lives down the street from me, and we go to the same places–our loser bars and key food. i told him that i didn’t want to stay friends after we broke up, and we’ve been pretty good about that. sometimes we’ll be in the same room or pass each other on the street and completely ignore each other. it’s not that that’s how i want it, but sometimes it’s just too hard to have it any other way. but every so often, there’s a brief moment when everything comes together and we are able to hang out as friends, and it’s nice, even though i said i didn’t want that. and it only happens when neither one of us are seeing anyone and we’re both excited about things going on in our lives. we can actually exchange ideas and not have old issues come up. of course, it never lasts. but right now, we’re in it, and it’s good. in fact, somehow we ended up signing up for a cooking class together (hide the knives!). and we’re competing against each other at the apple pie bake-off at enid’s on sunday. and he’s helping me on my website. i don’t know, man. there’s gonna be smoke coming out of the oven soon.

foodies are the new indie kids

up until this past year, the first thing i wanted to know when i met someone i was interested in was what kind of music they like. being a (retired) indie kid, i would silently judge their response, make some kind of snarky and/or pretentious comment and either proceed forward, eyes full of hope, or mentally check out of the conversation. these days i find myself asking, “do you cook?” ideally they do, but regardless, i’m trying to be less judgmental and generally less of a jerk. maybe it means i’m growing up. or maybe it means i’m just not a REAL foodie yet.